what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
