Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Girls should come with a carfax report
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
