I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
the day after is always just damage control
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
