Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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