i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
