you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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