All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
