Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize