She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize
