so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
