you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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