My friends, they love my intelligence
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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