I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
