I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
