You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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