We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
