You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
