Nicole vs. Life
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
