so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
