I heard we made out
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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