i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
