can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
