She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
