Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
