True but thats because hes a fetus.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
