FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Someone shattered a urinal.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
