We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
