I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
