And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
