Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
