ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
