She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
