Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
