It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
