Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
