I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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