Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
