i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
