Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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