Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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