then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
