dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
please come you make the beer taste better
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
two words...techno handjob
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
