We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
