When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
