I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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