Sry I called you an 8
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
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