oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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