You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
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