Where did you get a picture of my penis
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
