well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The power of my boobs compel you
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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