Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
