New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
