Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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