I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
We smell like vodka and hangover
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