I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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