Well apparently he's into motor boating.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
