no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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