yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
