so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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