your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You can't just leave with hair like that
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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