First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
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