R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
