im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
