She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
