You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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