Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
