ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
