windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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